I have spent 30 years giving feedback and encouraging others to do
so in a range of professional, personal and ministerial contexts. These have
included being a personnel professional in an FMCG multi-national, being an
ordained leader working with lay and ordained colleagues, and in the context of
theological education. As a result I have two convictions about feedback:
1. Most people find it very hard to give and
receive feedback in a positive, valuable and formative way. The idea of both
giving and receiving feedback fills people with dread, and poorly given
feedback can leave deep wounds which last for years and can destroy trust,
friendship and working relationships.
2. Giving and receiving feedback is an essential
professional, managerial and ministerial skill which can often unlock
significant areas of growth and development. Without it we trip over our own
flaws, risk damaging others and can hit an unnecessary ceiling in our own
competence and effectiveness.
Feedback is a very powerful thing, not least because it helps us
develop that vital element of maturity, ‘to see ourselves as others see us.’
For anyone in a public role this is vital. After all, how others see you is…how
others see you! And feedback is potentially happening all the time. As I
frequently commented to those in ministry training: just because people are not
talking to you, it does not mean they are not talking about you!
We are constantly being judged, evaluated and assessed. If we are able to
access, in a positive and useful way, some of that evaluation, it could really
help us to grow. And if our goal is to serve others, shouldn’t we want to do
that as best we can?
So how is structured feedback done well? Here are my eight top
tips.
1. Give notice
When you need to give some feedback, either as a regular thing or
just as a one-off, always give notice to the other person. ‘Let’s fix a time to
review how that went.’ There are two main reasons for this, one to do with you,
and one to do with the other person. In relation to you, the person giving
feedback, it is vital that the goal of the feedback is the growth and
development of the other person, and is seen to be this, and is not a pressure
valve to allow you to vent your frustration. For the other person, receiving
feedback could be emotionally demanding, especially if he or she is not used to
this. Giving notice allows the recipient to be prepared to receive your
comments—and perhaps even to review what happened themselves first.
If you are the recipient, and someone tries to give you unplanned
feedback, a good response is: ‘Thanks for telling me that. I wonder if we could
arrange a time for a proper conversation about it?’
2. Choose a good time
A follow-on from the first point is to then find a good time to
give the feedback. The most important thing it not to give feedback on the day
of the event in question, particularly if this relates to public ministry.
Preaching is demanding enough emotionally without having to face immediate
evaluation as well. And those feeding back need to reflect on their experience
as well. Things can look quite different after a day or two of reflection on
the event, as the trivial things subside and what was important stands out.
Make sure you allow enough time for a good conversation as well, and be clear
how long the feedback session will last (which is a good policy for any
meeting).
A good time for feedback will usually be in a context one-to-one,
unless you have reached the point in your team where feedback is something
natural to all your working relations. A good rule of thumb here is ‘Praise in
public; criticize in private.’
3. Shape your feedback
In the past I have been taught to start with the good, what went
well, or strengths, and then move on to the negative, to things that need
attention and development. The problem with this shape, if used regularly, is
that the person on the receiving end is listening to the good stuff, but inside
is just bracing themselves to be hit with the bad! A better shape is to either
mix it up, or go ‘good—bad—good’ so that you finish on a positive note.
Even better is to make the event a genuine conversation. I will
often now start conversations by asking the recipient to assess what went well
and what needs development. If feedback is not genuinely owned, it will not
have its effect.
4. Give reasons why
Feedback needs to have external references points in two
directions. First, comments need to draw on evidence from the event so the basis
of comments is clear. Secondly, the reason for change needs to have a clear
external rationale (‘If you do it this way, it means that people can…’). This
prevents the feedback simply being a vehicle for your own opinions and
prejudices; it needs to genuinely lead to more effective performance, and the
person receiving comments needs to see how the comments will genuinely be of
help to them.
5. Suggest a plan of action
Evidence-based feedback with a good rationale should then lead to a
plan of action. This does not need to be complicated, but it does mean that
there should be a clear way to allow the person receiving feedback to actually
address the issue at hand.
6. Focus on strengths as well as weaknesses
There is a real danger in giving feedback that the process only
focuses on weaknesses rather than strengths. I suppose the reason why it
happens is that it is easier to spot mistakes than it is to recognize how
strengths might develop further. But if this happens, then it can be
demoralizing for the receiver; the repeated agenda is to focus on the things
that are not going well, rather than the things that are. So
it is also worth exploring how things that are strengths already can become
points of excellence within the ministry or performance.
7. Make it regular
Feedback is most difficult when it happens as a one-off, and the
first time of significant feedback is often the most challenging. But the goal
for any kind of ministry team should be to make feedback a regular feature of
working together. If it is ‘just one of the things we do,’ then it is much less
daunting and can become more fruitful.
8. Make it symmetrical
If feedback is such a potential powerful tool for personal growth
and development, then all should be making use of it. And if it is to avoid
becoming an exercise in the use of power, then team leaders need feedback from
team members as much as members need feedback from leaders and others. In a
healthy ministry team, even the person ‘in charge’ should be ready to receive
feedback from others. I have been preaching for 30 years, and taught it for the
best part of a decade, but I still ask for feedback on my preaching. I still
have room for improvement!
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