You can not win a conflict at work. Winning a conflict means getting
the result "you" want regardless of what the person "other
" means. Since the underlying issue is not resolved simply reappear later.
Much better than winning a conflict at work is resolving it. Unresolved
conflicts make people unhappy at work and can result in antagonism, breakdown
in communications, inefficient teams, stress and low productivity. These are
the essential steps to constructively resolve conflicts on the job.
1 Realize that some conflicts are unavoidable
at work. Whenever people are engaged
and fired up, or are emerging changes and new ideas, conflicts and
disagreements are inevitable. This does not mean you have to revel in conflict
or create problems just for the fun of it, but it does mean that when a
conflict that is not the end of the world occurs. It may be the beginning of a
learning process interesting. The conflicts make people care enough to disagree
strongly. The trick is not to allow the conflict to last forever.
2 Handle conflicts, sooner rather than later. Resolve a conflict when it starts, as it only
gets worse over time. Conflicts at work are not due to something that was said,
but something that has not been said ! Everyone is waiting for the other to
admit it's getting nastier wrongand after the conflict has been stewing for a
while. It is essential to stop the " waiting game " before it gets to
that point.
3 Ask nicely. If someone has done something that made you angry, or if you do not understand your
point of view or actions, simply by asking for it can make a world of
difference. Never assume that people do what they do to annoy you. Sometimes
there are good reasons why that person does what he or she does ( even things
that really get nervous ), and a possible conflict evaporates there. Ask your
question just that - an investigation, no charges of any kind. " Hey, I
was wondering why you did it last 'X' " or "I 've noticed that often
does 'Y' Why is that? " are good examples. " Why the hell do you
always have a ' Z' " is less constructive.
4 Invite the other person to talk about the
situation. A hurried conversation at
her desk between emails and phone calls will not solve anything. You need a
place and time to address the issue unmolested.
5 Observe. Identify what is seen in objective, neutral terms. This is where
you describe the facts of the situation as objectively as possible. What is
really happening ? When and how is going ? What is the other person is doing
and, not least, what are you doing ? It only allows you to attribute observable
facts and are not allowed to assume or guess what the other person is thinking
or doing. You can say, "I 've noticed that you're always criticizing me in
our meetings," because that is a verifiable fact. You can not say "I
've noticed that you've failed to respect my ideas," because that implies
something about the other person.
6 Apologize. Apologize for your part in the conflict. Usually, everyone involved
has done something to create and sustain the conflict. Remember: You are not
taking all the blame, you are taking responsibility for your contribution to
the situation.
7 Appreciate. Praise the other in the conflict. Tell them why it's worth to you
to solve the conflict. This can be difficult because some people find it easy
to praise and appreciate a person strongly disagree with, but it's a great way
to move forward.
8 Identify the consequences. What is the conflict caused by you and the company?
Why is it a problem ? Outlining the consequences of the conflict shows why it
is necessary to solve it. It also helps participants to look beyond themselves
and see the conflict " from the outside ".
9 Set a target. What would be a good result ? It is essential
to set a goal so that both parties know the results they are seeking. That
makes for much more likely to achieve the result.
10 Requests. Ask about the specific actions that can be implemented immediately.
For example: " I suggest a new rule is introduced : In one of the meetings when we
suggest something and the other person does not agree, let's say that is good
about the idea and then say how it could be better too if we start. attacking
each other as we have done before, I suggest you both to excuse ourselves for
the meeting and talk about it in private rather than in front of the whole
team., and what say we have a small talk after the next meeting of the project
to assess how it went ? What do you think ? "
11 Get mediation. Some conflicts can not be resolved by the
participants themselves, and mediators can help. Mediation involves a neutral
third party who has been trained in the principles of mediation, which has
experience in mediation, and that is the confidence of the people involved in
the conflict. A good mediator will assist the parties in dispute to find their
own solution does not provide advice or push them towards any particular
solution.
Be careful when selecting a mediator. The mediator (or mediators)
should only be a person who has received formal mediation training, has
extensive experience in mediation and has mediated under supervision.
Otherwise, he or she can do more harm than good.
12 Consult an attorney. Some conflicts involve disagreement about what
is legal, or whether to follow the law. Whistleblowers who report violations
may have legal protection and may consider raising your concerns outside the
normal chain of command. If conflict arises from a fraud to get money from the
government, whistleblowers may need to follow special procedures to protect
their rights. The False Claims Act requires complainants to the original
knowledge of such fraud is the first to submit your claim, and refrain from
public disclosure of certain information about your claim.
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